I know I've been MIA for a while...

I haven't blogged very much or even twittered much lately. I was recently diagnosed with a serious medical condition. As I'm a very private person and still am trying to wrap my head around the whole concept of it all, I'm not going to talk too much about the specifics of it yet.


But I do feel the need to talk a bit about it for my own piece of mind.



Needless to say it will be changing my whole life for a while. Although I've been suffering from symptoms for 2 years now it only started really affecting my everyday life for the last 5 or 6 months. It all came to a head last month when my mom found me curled up in a ball sobbing from the pain and called an ambulance. Even then with all the tests they did, they didn't find anything but were kind enough to finally knock me out with 6 different pain medications. After 9 days of intense pain it was like a miracle. Unfortunately I'm stuck with thousands of dollars in medical bills that I cannot pay.



My previous doctor didn't understand the intense level of pain I was dealing with so I made the smart decision to switch to a new doctor. She was able to diagnose me right away. But (isn't there always a but going on somewhere?) I have some underlying health problems that need to be treated before I can get treatment for my condition. She was kind enough to give me pain meds that unfortunately just take the top sharp edges of the pain off, but something is better than nothing at this point.



Until I get treatment I'm kind of on hold with everything. I've been turning down custom jobs which were becoming a huge portion of my business. I've even closed my ebay store for a while because I just don't know if I'll be in any shape to finish projects. I'm doing one project that I committed to months ago for a special client's wedding and pray I'll get it done.



I feel really bad for my kids and my dog. Although the kids are teens and don't need constant care, they are having a rough time with the lack of routine and stability. We're always out of milk or eggs or toilet paper. Meals are whatever someone throws together. I can't walk the dog and she's such a mirror of my emotions that she's anxious and on edge too. My cat is the only one taking it in stride, he's just happy that I'm laying down and that he can snuggle with me.



With my business practically closed and nothing but my unreliable child support to limp us along I'm having to make some tough financial decisions and am desperately looking for someway to pay for my health care. If you don't know what it's like not to have health care in America you're very, very lucky and believe me it's utter hell.



Wow, I ended up saying so much more than I intended! I think I needed to get at least some of it out before I cracked. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope this wasn't too much of a downer for you. I'll have some happy, fun posts for you all soon!