Sunday, April 26, 2009

I know I've been MIA for a while...

I haven't blogged very much or even twittered much lately. I was recently diagnosed with a serious medical condition. As I'm a very private person and still am trying to wrap my head around the whole concept of it all, I'm not going to talk too much about the specifics of it yet.

But I do feel the need to talk a bit about it for my own piece of mind.

Needless to say it will be changing my whole life for a while. Although I've been suffering from symptoms for 2 years now it only started really affecting my everyday life for the last 5 or 6 months. It all came to a head last month when my mom found me curled up in a ball sobbing from the pain and called an ambulance. Even then with all the tests they did, they didn't find anything but were kind enough to finally knock me out with 6 different pain medications. After 9 days of intense pain it was like a miracle. Unfortunately I'm stuck with thousands of dollars in medical bills that I cannot pay.

My previous doctor didn't understand the intense level of pain I was dealing with so I made the smart decision to switch to a new doctor. She was able to diagnose me right away. But (isn't there always a but going on somewhere?) I have some underlying health problems that need to be treated before I can get treatment for my condition. She was kind enough to give me pain meds that unfortunately just take the top sharp edges of the pain off, but something is better than nothing at this point.

Until I get treatment I'm kind of on hold with everything. I've been turning down custom jobs which were becoming a huge portion of my business. I've even closed my ebay store for a while because I just don't know if I'll be in any shape to finish projects. I'm doing one project that I committed to months ago for a special client's wedding and pray I'll get it done.

I feel really bad for my kids and my dog. Although the kids are teens and don't need constant care, they are having a rough time with the lack of routine and stability. We're always out of milk or eggs or toilet paper. Meals are whatever someone throws together. I can't walk the dog and she's such a mirror of my emotions that she's anxious and on edge too. My cat is the only one taking it in stride, he's just happy that I'm laying down and that he can snuggle with me.

With my business practically closed and nothing but my unreliable child support to limp us along I'm having to make some tough financial decisions and am desperately looking for someway to pay for my health care. If you don't know what it's like not to have health care in America you're very, very lucky and believe me it's utter hell.

Wow, I ended up saying so much more than I intended! I think I needed to get at least some of it out before I cracked. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope this wasn't too much of a downer for you. I'll have some happy, fun posts for you all soon!


Moriah Betterly said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. Hang in there and know that I am here whenever you need an ear. I mean that!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a really tough time. I do not have health care either and understand how fast the bills mount up. Hope you feel better soon. Keep your head up.

The Polka Dot Pixie said...

Sending some hugs, good vibes and support your way. Thanks so much for visiting me. I love the music on your blog.
((((hugs)))) Jenny

The Polka Dot Pixie said...

Ooops, the music was coming from another site I had opened! Sorry for the mix up!

Maybeads said...

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. Your fun comments always make me smile on Twitter (and my blog), and I feel terrible that you're having such a rough time right now. Keep on being strong and I hope you're feeling like yourself again soon.

AndreaLeigh said...

my heart goes out to you. i hope that you get the treatment that you need. i will be praying for healing and financial blessing.

Tamara G said...

Sassy, I am so sorry to hear that you're facing such a tough time. As someone who only RECENTLY got any health insurance, I completely understand the frustration and fear about the whole financial side of things, on top of the obvious health anxiety. I very much hope your new doctor can start to help your condition and your pain. You are in my thoughts!

Bone*Head*Studios said...

I'm sure you don't want to hear another "been there done that", but I'm only saying it to let you know that there is hope and though
the tunnel seems long and endless, it does end. Many blessings to you and yours, for much brighter and less painful tomorrows.


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